I want the things you just can't give me...
It's a Nickel Creek blue grass morning. The new sun brought with it, melancholy and uncertainty. Last night I stayed up pretty late playing my guitar and sitting in front of the radiant glow of my Dell, typing and clicking away. I wish I could calculate how many hours were spent in front of a monitor of some kind; or it's possible that I don't really want to know.
Uncertainty seems to be the theme of my life. I've learned not to worry. Last year my fear was that I was going to have to move back home because I couldn't afford to live in
TheCurrent is in a strange place. I'm not really sure what the future looks like for us, even the immediate future. I know that moving is in the picture. Not sure where, I know where ever we go its going to be a huge leap of faith. Money is something that I'm sure God laughs at, the whole concept of it that is. But its hard for us to laugh at, it's something we "need". I feel weird saying that. I feel dirty saying that. Churches that I used to work for used to say that. That is gross to me. I never, in this church or any one that I pastor want to feed people the lie that unless you give financially to the church, then God won't bless your finances. I would much rather have people in theCurrent give money to a single mom who works two jobs.
Even in my giving, I wish I could give my car away. I think I could, I think God would bless me for doing so, but that would have me to take my faith to a level that I'm not ready for. I guess it comes down to unbelief. I don't believe the promises enough that because God takes care of the flowers of the field and the birds in the air, that how much more will He take care of me; His adopted son.
I got in a car accident last Tuesday. It was strange how it all went down. The week previous I sat on a bar stool in the Essential Bean, at theCurrent service delivering a message about how we lack the faith for God to provide; so as such we don't give. We don't give to the poor; we don't give to the church. We just save, horde, and keep on spending; meanwhile kids go hungry, people on the streets freeze and somewhere a mother cries her self to sleep because she can't pay the bills.
There is a song by Derek Webb that speaks to my soul every time I hear it. Its soul piercing, the truth and honesty are thick. I graciously provided the lyrics below.
Rich Young Ruler
poverty is so hard to see
when it's only on your tv and twenty miles across town
where we're all living so good
that we moved out of Jesus' neighborhood
where he's hungry and not feeling so good
from going through our trash
he says, more than just your cash and coin
i want your time, i want your voice
i want the things you just can't give me
so what must we do
here in the west we want to follow you
we speak the language and we keep all the rules
even a few we made up
come on and follow me
but sell your house, sell your suv
sell your stocks, sell your security
and give it to the poor
what is this, hey what's the deal
i don't sleep around and i don't steal
i want the things you just can't give me
because what you do to the least of these
my brother's, you have done it to me
because i want the things you just can't give me
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